Well, you will need a phrasebook. A long one. I can't provide it right now, but I certainly can start it... here it is:

Tomorrow. Well, not today for sure, maybe never.

Next week. Well, maybe I do, maybe I don't, none of your business!

Not this month. In the land of your dreams where the girls are pretty and the buffalo roam.

It will cost you X. I think you wouldn't give me the work if I tell you anything greater than X. Later...

It will take X days. It will take as long as I don't find an other sucker like you.

Maybe there will be other expenses. You will pay through your nose man, you will go sleep crying like a child every day until I got bored of you and leave!

It will be white. Or something similar like grey, red, or blue. Perhaps green. Probably not black. Well, OK, maybe black.

It will be the same color. Well, I am colorblind, are you? You look like one anyway...

If something goes wrong give me a call. You know I buy a new SIM card every month. Best investment ever!

Tomorrow we can't come. I don't even care if you don't pay me, I hate this so much I will never come into your street ever again.

Can you pay the work we already did? -> Tomorrow we can't come.

Yes, I can do it. I never did anything remotely similar, but I need the work.

Yes, we did the same many times. And if I might add it is about time we succeed at least once.

We gave it a thought... You look like a moron and so it is time to renegotiate the price.

Yes, I promise! Will you hang up the phone already!